TBI. Ever since then it has been a challenge

[Debus]

Hello everyone.  I am a teenage boy.  My Dad in February went to the hospital for mild TBI.  Ever since then it has been a challenge.  What is hard is that I am alone in this whole process.  My siblings are away living in other places.  Thus making me and my Mother the only ones who are dealing with my Father's TBI.  My Dad is strong though he has almost completely recovered via physical status (balance, sight, strength) but his mental is still trying to recover.

The one word I can do to describe this is a wild ride.  One minute he is completely angry with little things, the other minute he is the happiest I have ever seen him.  But needless to say it is very hard.  I feel that at times I feel completely strong and ready to take him on, but at other times I feel like I'm at my wits end.  I wake up expecting the worst.  A lot of times what I expect actually happens. 

So please for everyone out there I have a few questions.  Seeing how far he has recovered so far, and since he came out of the hospital in February, how long would you say it will take for him to become more reasonable and easier to deal with?  Second I am a teenage man who is extremely busy all the time, is there any message board or group of other teenagers who are going through the same thing I am that I can talk to or join?  And three what ways can I help him being who I am? 

Thank you all for reading, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.  I love my Father with all my heart and I am so worried for him.  I hope to have the same relationship I had with him before TBI.  Thanks

[scmom]

You sound like a caring and compassionate young man. Your love and empathy for your dad shows thru your post. This may be one of the hardest things you will struggle through in your life, so know that we all empathize with your situation, especially having to deal with this at such a young age.  I watched my teenage son as he also had to handle the changes in the relationship with his sister, who was severely disabled early in her recovery with her TBI. My son and I truely were the only ones to help her in her recovery. We went through many of her behavior issues confiding only with each other. Your mother probably feels all alone too. Please confide in her and you will become much closer and can share stradegies to help deal with your dad's votile emotions. I want you to know that your father is very early in his recovery. He will continue to get much better. He needs alot of patience and understanding right now as his brain is just beginning to heal. You appear to have much maturity for your age. Read as much here as you can. There is alot of information about why your dad is unable to control his anger and how to handle this....be as nonconfrontational as you can....etc. You may want to check with the hospital where your dad was injured for teen/family supports. The hospital where my daughter was inured just started one. Also check with your local Brain Injury Association for support groups...you can google them. 
Someone else posted this recently....
This is really helpful for teenagers

« on: March 24, 2012, 11:55:01 AM »
My parent has a brain injury, a guide for young people, this is really helpful for teenagers but also everyone in the family as it explains lots of brain injury problems in a really easy to understand way.

It is bright and colourful and also gives a lot of ideas about how to cope with negative feelings and where to get help. It has a good section at the end where people can write their own story.
It is on amazon £9.99
Your relationship with your father may always be a bit different, but understand, he is still your father and your love and relationship would have evolved with your growing and changing anyway...Try and stay as positive as you can. This will help tremendously. Try to bring humor back into your life so that your life view is a good one. God Bless

[Lorinda]

Debus, I agree completely with the moderator, you sound like a strong mature young person, who is dealing with a very major issue in your life.  My husband has a brain injury and we have 3 sons that still live at home, some days its great other days not so, sometimes its awful.  You need to make sure you take time out for you, to relax and be "you".  Does your Mum know how you are feeling?  It will make you closer if you talk, and it may reassure your Mum that she is not alone.  I find it very hard having a husband with a brain injury, however I find it harder watching my children trying to adapt to the change in their Dad. 
The one thing you must never forget is that you are human, it is normal for you to feel frustrated or out of your depth, or happy or sad.  Be you, stay strong, you sound like you are doing an amazing job 

[fahim2121]

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